


You and Me and Our Four Million Children

by BumblingBat



Series: Keep Your Braincells Firmly in Your Brain [29]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Nap, Ensemble Cast, Fluff, Found Family, Humor, M/M, Mentioned CC-2224 | Cody, dumbasses being dumbasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BumblingBat/pseuds/BumblingBat
Summary: There are a few arguments over who gets to claim the new squad of the shiniest shinies to ever shiny. Jesse just keeps dragging them home to Kix and asking to keep them.
Relationships: CT-21-0408 | Echo/CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-5597 | Jesse/CT-6116 | Kix
Series: Keep Your Braincells Firmly in Your Brain [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728457
Comments: 8
Kudos: 146
Collections: TexWash's Must Reads and Rereads





	You and Me and Our Four Million Children

**Author's Note:**

> England just started four weeks of lockdown, so... more fics? 
> 
> This fic powered by Beyonce: Homecoming and Backstreet Boys.

Rex stood at General Skywalker’s side, watching the shuttle land. Receiving new men was always a bittersweet event: they would never replace the men the legion had lost, but these new men would become just as irreplaceable.

But _Force_ , at that moment he’d give just about anything to replace the single man standing behind him.

“Lieutenant, if you do not shut your mouth and stand still, you’ll find yourself without a toothbrush.” General Skywalker snickered and immediately tried to cover it with an astoundingly awful display of ‘Jedi serenity.’ “General, you’re not doing much better.”

Jesse’s bouncing and excited whispers to Kix resumed not even thirty seconds later.

“Jesse, I swear to whatever gods are willing to listen to me…” Rex’s threat was cut off by the landing ramp lowering to reveal the shiniest squad of shinies to ever set foot on his ship. He could _feel_ Jesse’s excitement levels reaching astronomical levels. “No, Jesse.”

General Skywalker stepped forward to welcome the new men before Rex could say any more. “Welcome aboard, boys. I’m General Anakin Skywalker and this is Captain Rex. My padawan, Ahsoka, is currently in the medbay, but I’m sure you’ll meet her soon enough. The 501st is happy to have you.”

~~~

“- and THAT is why you should always carry a spare fork.” Kix immediately walked right back out of the barracks at Jesse’s pronouncement. Nope. He was not signing up for that.

~~~

“Kix! Kix Kix Kix Kiiiixxx. We need some help.” Kix glanced up from where he was rewrapping the bandaging on Commander Tano’s wrist. Jesse had one of the new shinies in tow, dragging him through the medbay. The shiny looked like a drowned loth-cat. Ahsoka had also looked up at their arrival and clearly knew exactly what was happening.

“Jesse, I’m pretty sure Captain Rex said no.”

“But, Kix!”

“Jesse. You cannot adopt all the shinies. What did you do?”

“Jesse, I thought I was your only rebellious teenage child!” Ahsoka whined from the table. Jesse held up a hand to placate her.

“Don’t worry, Commander. You’ll always be our favorite. This is Flute! He’s part of the new squad that just joined us. You’re welcome to help me -” Jesse was cut off by the thud of Kix’s head landing on the bench Ahsoka was sitting on. “- teach him the rules of the medbay and how to clean the bacta tanks properly?”

~~~

“Kix, did you or did you not stop me from adopting Flute last week? And now you think you can just claim Hale?”

“The difference here, _cyar’ika_ , is that Hale is a medic-in-training and I am duty-bound to complete his training.” Kix finished his answer with a solemn nod, ignoring the shiny currently sleeping on his shoulder.

~~~

Kix flattened himself against the wall as Jesse sprinted down the hall, an irate Fives close behind him. Unfortunately, he didn’t fast enough. Fives full-body tackled Kix, then got right back up to continue chasing Jesse. “You deserved that, Kix! You and Jesse don’t get to take Tup! He’s ours! No stealing children!”

“Fives, all I did was correct his det-throwing stance!” Jesse called over his shoulder.

“Yeah, and that’s Echo’s job! Don’t take that from him!” Fives found some extra speed as he skidded around the corner and disappeared. 

~~~

Rex was about ready to die in a hole at this point. He had turned into the Bolo-Ball Mom of the entire legion. He carried high protein snacks in his belt for Ahsoka, extra bacta strips for when Fives, Hardcase, and Jesse did something dangerous, and he had just handed over his FULL CUP OF CAF to Kix, who looked like he hadn’t slept since the beginning of the last campaign. General Skywalker constantly needed something to do with his hands or a gunship would end up rigged to shoot vegetables. 

And he wasn’t even touching the fact that Kix and Jesse had scooped up the new squad of shinies and declared them theirs. Hale followed Kix like a tooka. Flip was picking up some of Jesse’s more concerning habits, notably his habit of punching droids incorrectly. 

“Hey, Cody? I don’t suppose you have a spare bunk on your ship? I need a vacation.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, TexWash, fun fact: you're a delight and I love your comments.


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